LIVING WITH AN EXTRA LARGE P____: A blank jokebook

LIVING WITH AN EXTRA LARGE PENIS

Dr. Scott Curtis

I just sponsored a contest for “The Curse of the $1 Million Blank Book,” for which I paid your full price up front, so you know I am a serious customer who should be treated well. I wish to do a blank book entitled “LIVING WITH AN EXTRA LARGE PENIS.” That is all I want the book to say, except the author’s name, “Dr. Scott Curtis” on the spine and front cover. If both are too long for the spine, we can skip the author’s name. The book is a joke, meant to be carried by guys to the beach, a bar, or class and then “discovered” by girls.

I want the book to be gold-colored, and to look very much like GROSSEN PENIS, a German book I will send you separately. I want it to be a paperback and a hardback so focus on the hardback for this contest.

Hardback

Gold

Grossen Penis book cover: I do not want to copy the silhouette on the book cover, funny as it is. If an artist would like to propose a similar concept, that’s fine, but unless it contributes to the joke, unnecessary. I’ve done 7 other blank books, and in general, I’d say having a second joke takes away from the main joke.

I might like the artist to try a font slightly different from that of GROSSEN PENIS. I will send you another blank book I have published as a paperback and wish to make a hardcover I am doing myself. I don’t understand how to fill out the KDP application for “Manuscript” where it says “Upload hardcover manuscript” when I have a blank book. And the next space, “Book cover,” where it says “Upload your cover file.” On the first book, they ought to just be able to use the cover I already have. In any case, I obviously don’t know what I’m doing and if an artist cared to say, for another __ , I’ll fill this out for you, that’d be nice.

Every design category has flexible pricing for all budgets. Book cover starts at €269.